line of demarcation

I drew that line in the sand. The wind blew. And it disappeared. I felt bad anyway. Who wants lines? Why should there be lines? Everyone tells me be the good child, be the good daughter, no lines in the sand. They know all about the lines in the sand, they should have taught me all about the lines in the sand anyway. So I should have no worries. But of course there are worries. They are them, I am me. So in this real world because of this reality that is my own… I drew a line of demarcation a year ago. I am not foolish. I realize with my family's connections they will figure out my whereabouts and I run the strong risk of them finding me and eventually contacting me in some way…. And i live with that. And so I breathe. Deep breath in slow exhale out. I know what to do if they show up. There is a plan in place. My daughter will never know them. My family is much like the mob. There were rules in the family such as: You don’t talk about what goes on in the family to anyone else, this was what I was told when I was a child. You don’t leave or go anywhere without them knowing, not as a child...or as an adult. Don’t rock the boat, Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut. I was instructed how to behave, how to never betray the family secrets or how to remain silent. That said leaving seems almost unthinkable but somehow by those that were supposed to have taught me boundaries and lessons I learned were completely come to find out completely unreliable. So I had to learn to draw the line of demarcation to figure out the interaction on my own. Out of the blue. It struck them out like they never saw it coming. I made my own decision to protect my future. I made my decision to protect my own mental health. I decided to protect my family, be it my daughter, my future partner from the ill effects that controlled me for all my years. I was no longer going to partake in the charade that I was this daugher in this family. So there I was… standing alone. Holding my daughter's hand. We stand here we are in this world looking to make our way.